Top 5 Worst Films of All Time
First of all I would like to apologise for the lack of new blog posts recently, I've just finished my university exams and was caught up in revision and what not. Since I've not seen many new releases due to revision, I thought I would do a top 5 post since they seem to be the most popular entries. This week its my most hated films of all time, those films that make you want to cower under your bed in a desperate attempt to hide from sheer monstrosity that you have just witnessed. Ladies and gentlemen I present you with my personal top 5 worst films of all time.
#5 Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
I've never been a fan of the Transformers series, the first was simply a bland, mediocre action blockbuster, the second however took it to another level of awful. I'll never understand why Megan Fox was ever allowed to be an actress, throughout the entire film she grates annoyingly like fingernails on a chalkboard. She cannot act, plain and simple, and she's merely there for a bit of eye candy, making the entire film seem like a profit making product from the off set rather than a film. Shia Leobeof fairs better, but is undermined by the pathetic attempt at a script, giving him the most mundane and cliche lines imaginable, wasting his talent.The plot is mind numbingly cliche and predictable, making Die Hard seem like an intelligent art piece in comparison. The audio in the film is perhaps even worse than the acting, amassing to a series of dubstep-like mechanical noises and explosions, making it impossible to watch without wanting to tear your ears off. The special effects are perhaps the films only saving grace, which weren't half bad for 2009. Ruling the visuals out though, its clear that the film was designed with one thing in mind, money, which in my book is a disgrace to the medium and makes the film a historic failure.
#4 The Hangover Part II
I was naive in thinking that nothing could surpass the horrendous original Hangover film, this however managed to do just that. It follows the same demise as Transformers 2 in that it was created purely for money. I am aware that films need to make box office returns and ultimately make a profit, but making a film to take advantage of the formula of a previous success story is beyond a joke. This film takes this to a new level, this IS The Hangover, just set in a new location. All of the same gags are there, the same character stereotypes replaced with something new, and ultimately it failed to provide the entertainment that the original did for a lot of people. Personally, the original was only just made bearable by the relatively fresh take on the genre, even if the jokes were stale and overused, and the sequel managed to strip the series of the one redeeming feature, its creativity.
#3 Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides
This film holds the honour of being the only film I have ever fallen asleep in. What frustrates me the most about On Stranger Tides is that the first film was wonderful, the need for sequel after sequel has caused all of the admiration held to be pushed farther and farther to the back of my mind. The film is a retread of all of the previous films, like The Hangover it attempts nothing new, proving no excitement or intrigue whatsoever. The replacement of Kiera Knightly and Orlando Bloom for Penelope Cruz was a decision I expected to enhance the series, after enjoying her performances in countless Almodovar films. Again I was proven wrong, with a weak script giving Cruz little room for artistic expression, following tired cliches and providing no character development. Again the visuals were fine, but unfortunately visuals are only an ounce of what is required to make a brilliant picture. I sincerely hope that the cash cow has run out of milk, but I wouldn't be surprised if we see another one of these monstrosities swim to the surface over the coming years.
#2 Jack and Jill
Farts. If you found that funny chances are you'll love Jack and Jill. This absolute blinder of a failure is probably Adam Sandler's worst film, and that's saying something. The film is essentially a series of insults directed at social minorities mixed with plenty of toilet and slapstick humour, in an attempt to be funny. Now I'm not usually offended by anything, I enjoy the way some films push the envelope in terms of taste, Jack and Jill pushes it too far. The plot isn't even worth speaking about, its just predictable trash, and Sandler's performance/s are equally horrific, the Jill character is infuriatingly overacted and irritating. It clearly isn't just me who feels this way about Jack and Jill, with the film having a pathetic 3% on Rotten Tomatoes, if any film were to win the award for most idiotic picture, it would surely be this garbage.
#1 Abduction
Never has a film left me so astonished as Abduction. I left the cinema replaying what I had witnessed over and over again in my head. Usually this would indicate that the film was fantastic, not so for Abduction. This film is the definition of terrible, making the rest of the top 5 look like Citizen Kane or 2001. Taylor Lautner's first appearance outside of the Twilight series proves that moody, shirtless roles are the peak of his talent. In abduction, Taylor is trash personified, he manages to single handedly provide the worst performance ever witnessed in a film. The plot is a nauseating combination of the Bourne films and Taken, mostly consisting of Lautner being chased by some generic agent type for no particular reason. It's disappointing to see great talent like Sigourney Weaver wasted on bargain bin trash, and unfortunately her performance just doesn't stand up to her most celebrated performances in the Alien films. The cliche plot, characters and dialogue make this film the epitome of a bad film. Avoid at all costs.
Thats it for this weeks top 5, I'll be posting a new indie roundup next week along with various other posts, so keep checking @Karlrichings on Twitter or the website for new content!
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